See you around

Yesterday, my belovéd grandson managed to accidentally knock Mark's glass of wine over his laptop keyboard.  They'd been having a good time playing chess after we'd fetched the children from school and were both involved in some computer game Mark was playing.  Mark told him quite forcibly "get away from me, child" so Alex did.  I told Alex he should apologise to Mark and his wee face was so concerned when he whispered to me "I've forgotten his name" then, reminded, went off to apologise.

Everything went downhill between us from there on, I said I would have to replace it if it had died but that wasn't accepted, later, after he'd sat in the garden for a long time, I asked if he was OK, he said "yes" in one of those voices so I said "then why doesn't it sound like it?".  That got me "No, I'm not OK, I'm just not, now leave me alone" so I did.

Things got a little better later while he tried to get the keyboard off the laptop to check it, without much success; eventually it did fire up but appears to have a sticky key so he couldn't even get past his windows logon as the password gets taken over by the sticky key.  He needs to log in to some jobsite every day or have to visit the gov't A4E type people daily.  OK, so he accepted that he could use my old laptop with the broken casing and  I (had already) accepted he'd be going home today instead of whenever.  So.  I went to bed hoping we and the laptop would be back to normal in the morning, he came up after a while but was in the spare room when I woke up.  Fine.  After he got up, I muttered 'morning' but that was the only word exchanged before he collected and packed his stuff; I asked if I could give him the fare, he said"no, you're all right", which made me feel like a total shit since I know he's flat broke.  Then he gave me a hug and a couple of pats on the back before saying "see you around" and leaving.

Made a right mess of my day that did, not that I'd been full of joy the night before.  I'll cope, just wish it wasn't necessary; maybe I'm overreacting by taking see you around as last words but that's how it feels.  Letting people get close to me seems like a bloody stupid thing to do, it seldom ends well and though I let it happen less often than I used to.  Life really sucks sometimes.