She has taken the words right out of my mind and said them for me (except that I wasn't as sensible or brave when I was 48)
This is part of an email from someone leaving their company......
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less white hair or a flatter tum. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical. I've become my own friend. I don't feel guilty for eating that extra biscuit or piece of cake, or for not making the bed, or for buying that silly outdoor ornament that I didn't need, but looks so ‘avante garde’ on the patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
But, I have seen too many friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging, so, yes, I am leaving after 20+ years.
At the age of 48 my body has decided for me, that it can no longer ‘be’ as stationary and needs to be much more active, so I have decided to give myself a break, in the knowledge that I can live without the finer things in life, for a while anyway; to get back some of the life I have lost, to do some of the things I want to do.
I want to be able to choose to read a favourite book, surf the computer or play the piano until 4 in the morning, and then sleep until midday. I want to sing and dance to those wonderful tunes of the 60’s & 70's, and if, at the same time, I want to cry over a lost love, sentimental thought or memory, I will.
I want to blow the cobwebs off my paint brushes and just splash around a bit, expressing myself, as all of us should. Commissions welcome if you would like me to capture on canvas that magic smile or glint of an eye of a loved one, be it human, tamed or wild!
I want to get fit, do more sailing and accomplish Coastal Skipper, complete my Dive Master exams; walk the South Downs Way, ‘Coast to Coast’ and the Pennines. Too far, you may think? Perhaps.. But there’s nowt wrong in trying, or even just dreaming.
I want to throw myself out of a plane again,and feel the thrill of speed, risk, and achievement. I want to put my motor bike back together and feel the freedom it provided. I want to learn to fly a light plane like a Piper, Cessna or Cherokee.
I look forward to walking the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and dive into the waves with abandon, if I choose, regardless of pitying glances from the toned young jet set. They, too, will get old.
Over the years my heart has been broken, several times. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one; when you realise you will never have children; when one of your pets is killed on the road unnecessarily, taken too early or denied a normal life? But, broken hearts give us strength, and understanding, and compassion for others while they mend. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am fortunate enough to have lived long enough to have my hair turning white, (just) and to have my youthful laughter forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself any more. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
I like being older. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but whilst I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. I mean to go do it now.. And I shall eat dessert every single day,..(if I feel like it).
I hope those that want to stay in touch will do so. Please be happy, seize the day, enjoy the precious present.
No comments:
Post a Comment